Monday, May 6, 2013

Weird Iowa...

It's funny how you don't notice regional things until you move somewhere else.  Take, for example, the use of the word "sack" here in Iowa.  The word is used here in place of the word "bag".  Unfortunately, six months after moving here, it still makes me want to giggle and/or cringe (depending on who is saying it) almost every time I hear it.  In Illinois, the only time I really recall anyone using the word sack, it either involved getting some action or a potential anatomy lesson, if you know what I mean (or way back in the 90's when hacky sack was a thing, I guess).  Sack.  Pshhh.  How silly. 

That's just a funny little quirk though.  Much of the bizarre behavior I've noticed from the state of Iowa revolves largely around winter and/or snow removal.  Most notably, they don't seem to believe in snow removal here.  I lived in Illinois for 30 years, and I'm pretty sure I haven't owned a pair of boots since about 8th grade...I really didn't need them...by the time people were going to work in Illinois, roads and sidewalks were clear (I know...novel idea, right?).  And if they weren't clear right away in the morning, it was because we got a foot of snow overnight, and things are opening late or not at all for the day. 

You may wonder why on earth I'm bringing up snow in May.  Well, allow me to enlighten you.  It snowed here in Des Moines this past week...for two whole days...in May (only 2 inches, but still...ick).  Completely uncalled for, if you ask me, but alas...mother nature did NOT ask me.  So anyway, this particular snowfall has led to my greatest revelation yet of bizarre Iowa-isms.  All winter long, when I was driving back and forth from Illinois, I wondered why the HECK people (who have run off the road) here leave their cars in the ditch for days and days.  Dozens upon dozens of them were strewn all over the ditches along I-80 every time it snowed, and stayed there for a ridiculously long time. There were semis flipped over in the ditch for literally a week after one of those snowfalls over the winter.  A WEEK.  That's a lot of lost money.  Anyway, I guess I decided maybe people in Iowa are just waaaaay more laid back than people in Illinois or something...whatever.  So, during the snowfall this past week, a gal who is from here explained that when it's snowy and road conditions aren't great (like during our whopping two inches of snow last week), they issue a STATEWIDE towing ban.  Like...you are not ALLOWED to get your car out of the ditch...apparently, it impedes on traffic.  To which I have two things to say:

1) If you think there's a single place in Iowa that constitutes using the word "traffic," you have obviously never seen traffic.
2) WHAT?!?  What kind of ridiculous, insane regulation is THAT?!?  No freaking wonder this state shuts down when we get 4 inches of snow...nobody wants to leave the house, because they don't want to accidentally wind up stuck in a ditch and be stranded without a car for a week!

In conclusion, Iowa is weird, and I need to get some sleep so I can be at work early in the morning.  I feel much better now that I have that rant off my chest though...I've been saving it up since I made this discovery on Friday, because I haven't had time to get to a computer since then.  lol :)  Goodnight all...more soon!

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