Sunday, August 22, 2010

The good times hangover...

Does this happen to anyone else?  No alcohol involved in this one.  A solid day or two of good times and excitement, head back to your real life, and it's like you have a hangover from it.  Just not really feeling well because you overloaded, crashing from your high on fun, and knowing that much fun won't be stopping by again anytime soon.  Back to work and errands and never having time for what you'd really like to be doing. 

I read an article on Yahoo news about this just the other day, and when I went to see Eat Pray Love yesterday, I was reminded again that we're the most overworking, overstressed, overbusy country in the world...and we LIKE it.  The article was saying that overall, most people in America would PREFER to be way overbooked.  We're actually happier when we're a step behind on our to do list, because we feel like we have PURPOSE.  When we finish the list, we have this nagging sense that we're just there...waiting for the next thing we should be doing.  And then in Eat Pray Love (I also read the book a couple of weeks ago...which was better than the movie, obviously, but the movie was quite good as well), they were talking about how we just can't relax.  It's like we need an excuse, or permission, or something.  We have to feel like we EARNED it.  In the book/movie, they were talking about how doing nothing was practically an art form in Italy.  And how American ad campaigns are all about how we've earned a break, and we really deserve to take one...with a Miller...or a Kit Kat...or whatever other product is selling, and we're like, "Really?  You think so?  Fantastic...maybe I WILL go take a break!".  The premise of the conversation in the movie/book was that if one of these commercials ran somewhere else, they would simply, "OBVIOUSLY, I deserve a break...that's why I already have one lunch, and again after work, and again this weekend, and maybe I'll take a day off next week!" 

I'll agree with that (the American part anyway...I can't speak for anywhere else, since I pretty much haven't even been out of the country, but for Canada).  I feel sort of lazy and worthless having a do-nothing day off unless I completely busted my ass the day before and completed 72 hours worth of work in 24 hours.  And I'll be the first to admit that I have a bad habit of worrying about what's happening at work for the first half of my vacation and then panicking about what I'm coming back to at work for the second half.  I'm a LOT better about it than I used to be, particularly since I don't have a job that I can't stand anymore.  Now it's just a distant, nagging feeling.  With my old jobs, I'd be approaching hysteria by day 4...spending disturbing amounts of time considering the cost-benefit analysis of breaking a leg and going on disability for a few weeks, quitting my job and filing for bankruptcy, or moving in with my mom and becoming a waitress...anything but going back.  It's been a breath of fresh air not dealing with that nightmare anymore.  I can actually enjoy myself DURING the fun now, which is definitely an improvement.

But what to do AFTER the fun?  Besides throwing myself back into work and errands and cleaning house and whatever other to do lists I can think of at 1000 mph, I haven't found much.  And I suppose some of it has to do with my control issues and whatnot, but still...there's got to be another option.  Some sort of happy middle ground, where work can happen, and fun can happen, and you can transition easily from one to the other.  Doesn't there?  Well, if I ever find one, I'll let ya know.  Until then, I'm going to enjoy my last 18 hours off this weekend, and then head to work bright and early tomorrow morning to start the rat race all over again :)  lol.

No crafting tonight...back home at my mom's house and I don't have anything with me.  More tomorrow!

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