Monday, September 27, 2010

Finding happy...

Well, I worked an overnight last night with my assistant manager, and man oh man did we get a lot done.  That said, it brought back vivid memories of the time I spent at Kohls, always working, never sleeping (or really having a life, for that matter).  I would routinely get off work there at 2 or 3am and have to be back in at 6am...40 minutes away from my apartment.  Or I'd work an overnight, go home long enough to take a shower, turn around and go back for another 14 hour shift.  The thing that reminded me most of my younger days, when I didn't know when to say when:  I woke up after my 17 minute nap before returning to work this morning, stiff, sore, and just generally miserable.  As I thought back on it, I remember waking up that way nearly every day I worked at Kohls.  I felt like I was 90 years old.  I remember worrying that something was seriously wrong with me back then...cuz a 21 year old isn't supposed to feel that way (at least not without a whole lot of  As it turned out, it was just the result of battering my body and not taking care of myself for months on end.  As soon as I got back to a semi-reasonable schedule with a little work-life balance and some semblance of a proper amount of sleep, I bounced right back (with a little additional help from The Walking Company, for which I would gladly do a commercial if I were asked).  It seemed like a miracle at the time...I had spent almost two years like that, and had finally concluded that was just the way things were going to be.  That I was going to just have to live with being miserable and overextended.

Well, years have gone by, and I certainly don't push it to the extent that I used to.  I know better than THAT.  But, I do still have a tendency to overdo it on a semi-regular basis.  Last night was a perfect example...lifting stuff I should've probably gotten help with, among other things...I'm sure there's the writer of a pamphlet about proper lifting techniques somewhere out there who would grimace if there were video footage of everything I moved last night.  Luckily, I found myself another small miracle several months ago...a fantastic massage therapist (who will certainly have something to say about the current condiiton of my back when I go again on Wednesday).  

Now, don't get me wrong, I've always been all for a good massage.  I go on vacation, and someone says: "Let's go skiing," and I hear "Get cold.  Fall down.  Break leg."  Not-so-much...if I want to injure myself, I can manage that on my own, at home or at work.  I'm an INDOOR kinda gal.  Vacation is for sleeping in, eating well, and relaxing..often with a massage, from whatever spa happens to be nearby...or not so nearby, as the case may be.  Anyway, I'd had a lot of massages, and they'd always been nice, but until April or so, I hadn't ever had one that made a lasting impression.  One that actually made me feel better for a few weeks, instead of just relaxed for a few hours.  This girl fixed what I thought was permanent tissue damage from falling down some cement stairs seven or eight years ago (clumsy, not drunk).  It was ridiculous...I didn't even know it was possible to fix something like that.  And for that, I will continue to be a fiercely loiyal customer.

Anyway, I think what I'm getting at with all of this, is that the older I get, the more I realize that it's important to invest in my health...and in my quality of life.  And okay, yeah...massages cost money...quality shoes cost money...but if it means I don't have to wake up thinking I've aged 60 years overnight, it's totally worth it.    And yeah, if I have to take a job that pays a little less...if maybe I have to move somewhere that I don't know anyone and start over, decide where to cut costs and figure it out all by my lonesome...but I'm happy, and I don't come home angry or go to work's totally worth it.  So I'm finding my happy my cute apartment, with my silly dogs, working at a job I love, in an area that suits me, and getting nice shoes and massages.  To each his own though...find your own happy :)

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